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| I know, cause I grow 2 x 4s, and the clocest I ever been to runnin a combine was tiein sacks when I was a kid.
I did however watch the local "BTO" here a couple weeks back, mostly for entertainment value as he was working corn.
Now, the first thing you gotta do is get the combine hung up in the phone cable as you turn into the field, same field and same combine as last year, exactly where he got it hung last year too.
Then, the tractor and the cart arrive, and sit waitin for the first load. Since radios are too much of an expense, the combine sits at the back of the field waitin for the cart to get the idea he needs to go unload. It seems to be a requirement in proper combine operation for the cart to always be at the wrong end of the field when the combine needs to be unloaded.
The truck, well, bein an independant contractor, he arrives when he damn well pleases. He also insists on heaping loads before he even trys to pull away from the roadside where he's loading. He also refuses to tarp, cause that would prevent him from spilling a bushel or two every trip.
On his second trip, he MUST get stuck in the soft shoulder, and everything comes to a stop while somebody goes to get a tow chain. I think that's a NY State requirement, cause it keeps the road blocked, while spectators speculate on the truck tipping into the ditch. Now, you'd think somebody would get the hint something needs to be on the other end of that chain, and the likely candidate would be the tractor pullin the cart, but that thought never occurrs till the chain is attached to the truck, and everybody proves their genetics should have been stomped out a generation back.
Finally, the cart gets unhooked, in the muddiest part of the field, and the tractor pulls the truck out, spilling a few extra bushel ont the road and the shoulder. There is now a trail of mud to be laid for at least half a mile down the road by the truck.
Amazingly, the second truck arrives, driven by Mr "BTO" himself, and has to drive right into the same ruts, just after the tractor gets hooked to the cart. Mr "BTO" insists the combine pull up next to the truck, and unload. The augur whacks the phone cable. New arrangements have to be made. The combine is stuck now, and the truck is too. The cart driver is damned if he unhooks again, so he pulls onto the road, and insists the back end of the cart is strong enough to pull the truck ahead with the chain. It was, if you don't mind bent iron. The cart then dumps into the truck, and goes back to unload the combine, where it is stuck next to the road. Mr "BTO" is now opining he should have orderd a third truck. Of course, he didn't because nobody will haul for him 2 years in a row, because he pays slow.
Truck #2 leaves with a part load, and the combine is still stuck. The combine operator and the cart driver stand there chewin each other's moustaches about pulling the combine out of the mud. Finally, they unhook the cart, and pull the combine out, backwards, onto the road, and get a real serious look on their faces as they realize it might have pulled easier if they weren't tipping phone poles cause they were also dragging phone cable.
I left, cause I didn't want to see what came next, but when I passed that way a few hours later, there were 3 phone company trucks, and the rest of the corn was still standing. I couldn't see the combine or the cart anyplace in the field.
Now, I hope I've enlightened you on how a real "BTO" runs a combine properly. | |
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You guys got it all wrong
