She already knows all my lies. They don't even give her a rise any more. :-)

I am only allowed to have two girlfriends and she readily acknowledges them as my girlfriends. They are a gay couple that are good friends of ours.

She has given me good advice that I follow to the letter. "look but don't touch". And I do exactly that. She says when I quit looking she will know I have already passed away and she will need to contact the funeral home.