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Soldiers Grove Wi. 54655 | Great Thread~!
It really makes one think not only of those who are a little older but our own mortality. My Dad passed 2 1/2 years ago at the age of 93. He was helping me and driving my tractor with cab until he was 88 and it got to the point he didn't have the strength in his legs to get into the tractor. He really started going downhill about 1 year before he passed and that spring his balance was a little off and he had not driven his car all winter. He lived off the farm about 6 miles away and wanted to drive out one day but I was lucky and talked to him and told him to let me ride with him and if he felt uncomfortable to let me know and I was drive. After about 3 miles he pulled over and said "Well I guess that's it, I can't focus good enough" .. Gotta say a little tear came to my eye but I knew it was the best as did he and he accepted it and we sold his car. The year before he finally quit riding his moped to the farm and back also.
~ Mom passed at 78 in 2010 and after that I spent more time with him and we went out to eat and for a few beers now and then but mostly took him fishing on the Mississippi until 2 years before he passed because again his balance was getting off and his concentration a little bit. He always loved to fish and had a nice bass boat but it was hard for both he and I to get in and out of it as I have my own disabilities too and I'm 63 now but have fought chronic pain since the early 90s from nerve damage from lightning strikes and disc deterioration as well as multiple cracked and crumbling vertebra.
In 2013 he told me to find him a nice pontoon and I did and it was so much safer for him to ride in. I took him to the Mississippi 25 times each year for 4 years and the next year it was 16, then 14 then 3 because of the weather but the last year he could only handle the trip 2 times. Great memories every time even if we didn't get a bite. Again, he knew he couldn't do it anymore but it was easier since he realized it on his own. Bittersweet moments no doubt as the relief of not having to tell him he can't drive or even go for a long ride anymore took a load off my shoulders.
I was lucky as I have 4 sisters and no brothers and my oldest sister was actually looking for a house to buy in town close to him after her husband passed in 2012. She sold part of her farm with the house to her son and daughter in law in about 2018 and we talked and figured it would work out good if she moved in with Dad and it did as she had retired from the Nursing home so she knew how to take care of some of his other needs and made sure he had a good breakfast and meals and did the housekeeping.
I realize even though I'm only 63 my disabilities limit me to traveling far from home, enjoying things I used to and I can tell my operational skills as far as running machinery are slowing some too. Trying to retire but there will never be a true retirement I know. I have to keep some beef cattle around to keep the weeds down and stay active. I may try renting my crops out or just continue to hire it all planted sprayed and harvested this next year.
Just an idea but if your Dad reads much maybe make a copy of this thread (delete your own post) and let him read it. It will all depend on if he is stubborn or somewhat open minded. Maybe explain you need to put extra coverage on your insurance umbrella for liability in case someone gets hurt. Every situation is different but even so it all falls on a son or daughter's shoulder and someday it may fall on our own kid's shoulder and they'll have to deal with "our" decisions"
Good luck as I wish you the best~!
Kick~ | |
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How do you tell your dad it's time to stop driving tractor
