"and I would not allow visitation to be at his or her discretion"

I was wondering about that angle.  It seems like that kind of thing should be written into the divorce agreement and/or have a committment from his wife to honor those visitation rights.  Is that right?

Forward person... sorry to hear about the divorce.  I wish you well.  however, as you alluded to, it ends the uncertainty, and you can move forward.