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Aberdeen MS | Let me start by saying I used to be on a "team" of speakers that a program for divorcing parents with children mandated by the state. This was in the state of MN, so some things are probably different for you. But the jist of all is for anyone anywhere.
First and foremost, like others have said. NO COMMENTS IN PUBLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That includes "here". Delete any responses you have made except for the origination of the threads, and edit any you have started to only reference the separation and now the ensuing divorce. NOTHING MORE!!!!!!
With that said, one thing to keep in mind. On the onset, the "demands" in the original papers more than likely are NOT her words. They are mostly the words of her attorney. The first set of papers are always going to "go for the gold". Pay them no mind really. They usually mean nothing other than letting you know the type of attorney she hired and that the process has started. That's it.
Just to reflect on my divorce. She left me with 3 teenage girls. One day ...poof ... she was gone. When I got the papers, the tone was I was NOT a good dad, but the girls were better with me for the interim. In reality what it was, she moved in with a 25 yr old (she was 39). She had to keep her "image" as somewhat "pure".
It is permissible to talk to her without attorney's present. The court system actually prefers it, as long as it's about pertinent information about coming to a resolution. This can be a tricky road to follow though, depending on her attitude. So tread carefully, very carefully.
Turn off the anger, turn off the "wallowing" you are going through when around anyone except your very close family or support person/people you have right now. This is business (only thing the court sees is a partnership dissolution and the main "commodity" is the kids). The court could care less what you have and she doesn't... that is spelled out in state law. Pretty cut and dried.
A child in the teens is basically going to be able to call their own shots where the main custodian is concerned. Not entirely, but a very big influence on the courts. Unless you have rock solid proof of negligence on her part, it will be a waste of time and money to NOT take his wish into account. Granted he at this time can not reflect into the future like adults can, he will have more pull in the courts than you, at this time, may think he does.
I could take up a couple of pages here, but i'll stop now.
My email is live, other contact information can be had by following my website link in profile if you so desire.
Good luck.
Bruce | |
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Divorce
