Just went through this.

Remeber, she has hired a legal "gunslinger" to get anything and everything she can. Hire your own. Fight for full custody. Fight to make her ask for visitation. She's already lied to you once to get her way, expect that to continue. AT this point you are dealing with an adversary.

Second, none of this at his and her discretion BS. That way she can obstruct and delay, then go to court in a year and get it completely wiped out because you didnt use it.

Understand that the kids are caught in the middle. They are surely hearing bad things about you. Try to be the grownup and not do that. It only hurts you in the long run.

Get everything in writing. If she says he cant come this saturday because they have to go somewhere, GET IT IN WRITING. If she says he doesnt want to come out, GET IT IN WRITING. That way you will have ammunition.

Expect to get calls for extra money for a coat, for school etc. I wont let my kids go without, but I had to go to court and demand an accounting of the child support. And NEVER give her cash. Kid needs shoes? Take him shoe shopping.

I could go on, but that probably would not be good for my blood pressure. Email is in profile if you have questions.

Hang in there, you can survive this.