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| I've followed this site for several years and this will be either my second or third post. So obviously have some strong feelings here and will apologize now if I offend anyone and of course it's just my opinion.
You don't want to fight for him??????? I guess if you don't care-you don't care. But if you do you must fight for at least shared custody. You probably won't get equal because you're a man- try anyway. But please don't walk away from your son. He deserves a father. Was she a local person? If she wasn't and has total control she will move away-possibly far far away and you will NEVER see your son and her new bo will be the one influencing what your son becomes, unless she changes every year and then there will be four of them exposed to him before he even graduates from high school. By the same token, if you become involved with someone make the commitment NOW priority one is your son for the next four years. Your ex-wife may move away anyway but at least you will be alloted more spring break vacations, etc. if you have a legal shared custody arrangement of some kind. Demand to be treated as an equal parent involving his schooling, friends, activities, etc. You legally have those rights regardless of who officially has physical custody. GET A LAWYER!!!!!!!!!!! YESTERDAY!
This whole situation may actually turn out to be a gift. Do you realize that this may be the opportunity for you to finally have an influence on your childs life? In other words, your time with him will be YOUR time with him. The mother, computers, video games, phones, friends, texting, facebook, and everthing else that has influenced his life up until today can stay with the ex when he comes to see you. Will he like it to begin with? Nope. But it will force both of you to begin acting like father and son. Will he want to even come see you without mommy and the toys? Probably not. To start with at least. But with time he may actually start to like hanging around his old man and start learning a few things about life that video games don't teach. And you may learn some things in life that farming can't teach. Four years is actually a long time to be able to exert some influence at this stage in his life so don't think it's too late.
Please don't forget the daughter either. And it's probably been mentioned. NEVER a bad word about the mother in their presence. Just some thoughts to consider and I wish the best to all FOUR of you. | |
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Divorce
