There any special reason for giving up on the new Grain system ??  I would not make a bunch of drastic long term changes right now.  If you've already started finish the dang grain system.

Not trying to sound cold here, ok ?

Daughter was set to go to college before the wife declared seperation, correct ??  So, that relationship with your Daughter has not changed one iota.   Stay in contact with her via phone, when time permits you to get away from the farm make advance plans with her and go see her at college, Spend a night or 2 in a hotel room, and spend a weekend with your daughter.

As for your son, the two of you never seemed to really connect as Dad and Son if I understand correctly.  Yes, you cherished the time in the morning's, eating meals with him, visiting with him etc.  IF you haven't ,,  you should tell your son exactly what you've said here, and let him know exactly how you do love him and enjoy time with him, even thou, Your life of being on the farm and farming is not shared by him. 

As to both your children,, be absolutely clear with them you want to continue the Dad/daughter and Dad/son relationship. Acknowledge it will take more planning, phone calls, etc,, to maintain the relationship but there is NO reason it should change.

As to the marriage,,,,  You are grieving a death. In this case it is the death of a marriage, which is every bit as hard as grieving an actual physical death of a spouse in its own way.  The biggest difference between the two is the rejection factor.  When a spouse dies,, that rejection factor is not there.   During a divorce,, the rejection factor is monstrously huge.

( "I want to go on,, Just NOT with You.." ) 

Back to this "one day at a time"......

1.  You have to eat.  Body is a machine just like a tractor.  The second factor, food will
     physically help you gain a better perspective, and balance.

2.  Physical exersise, nope walking to the mailbox ain't it..  I'm talking sweat yer arse off,
     running,  bicycle riding, chopping wood, whatever it takes to get your heart rate up, and
     blood really pumping.  (it's been shown time and again heavy dugy exersise helps your
     mental outlook-condition as much as your physical condition)

3.  You rule your emotions, or your emotions will rule you. Yes, it sucks,  and therefore,, like
     anything you do, you manage your time spend.   Say 2 hours per day, 1 hour in the
     morning and 1 hour at night.  Physically set the timer,  1 hour am and 1 pm hour, to think
     about what you have, what you've lost, and what you will do next.  Hour's up then
     physicall and mentally move on to the next task at hand.  If you find you're letting your
     mind wander back to "grieving", etc..  then do something, anything that does not allow
     your mind/attention to wander around all by itself..

4.  Do NOT Drink. nuff said

5.  Connect with friends, or people you know, and spend time with them talking about
     anything, discussing any topic, or chatting over a cup of coffee or meal...  Be involved, talk
     about what they are doing, etc...  You don't need to go through a big session of "my wife
     left".   If the know you at all,, they already or soon will know, and besides it is outside that
     "Daily 2 hour grieving window".

6.  If there's hobby's or things you were interested in,, but didn't get involved with as you felt
     it wasn't necessary or took time away from family.  NOW would be the time to re-
     examane and get involved.   Long as "it" is not illegal, immoral, or a detriment physically
     or mentally, get involved. The interest is not going to come to you,, you are going to have
     to go out find it, and get involved.

There is no "magic wand" that will mystically improve this situation, it takes alot of hard work physically and mentally to move through this period of your life.

Don't let anybody tell you,, "get over it", "just don't talk/think about it and it'll go away", that is all BULL Krap.   One of the most tramatic events in a person's life and "ignore it,, it'll just go away." ???   Not going to happen.    You'll have to "think through", examine, and come to rational terms with how your life has and will change.  IT can not be done in a day or week, and YOU alone are in control of how you deal with and in control of the time alloted to deal with this change on a daily basis.

(inside secret,, that 2 hours a day you WILL find,, will drop off to 1 hour maybe every few days or week, as you resolve the life change's you are moving throu)  

Eventually,,, you will have your life changes resolved and not need to examine this period in your life.  (you will find it filed under "history" in your memory bank, and it will not be nearly as painful as it is right now.)

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