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NESD | I went thru the same thing 7 years ago, out of the blue my wife said she wanted out and she did not want to try counseling, she had hurt for so long she just wanted it over, I had made work my life so I really was blind to her feelings.
I was devastated, after she moved out I didn't go home for several days, I worked until I was ready to drop and then I slept in my truck and did it over, I finally got the strength to go back to the house that we had called our home, now it was just another house but it was still my house, Sometime later I overheard my boys talking about "Mom's house" and home, this was the only home that they had ever known, that is when I decided that I needed to pull myself together for my boys. I took it one day at a time and put one foot in front of the other, in time it did get better.
After about a year I started dating again and it was very tough, my ex was the only woman I had ever been with so it was hard to get her out of my mind, I had a couple short relationships that could have worked out but as I know now I wasn't ready,
Then I met a lady and we had one date and decided that it wasn't going to work out but we stayed friends and talked a lot. One night she mentioned that I should check out a group called Beginning Experience (BE), I googled them and read their mission statement, It was as if I was being called to them, they dealt with Divorced, widowed and seperated people, I sent off an e-mail asking for more info, a couple days later a lady from BE called me and we had a really nice conversation, at the end of our conversation she invited me to come to a "Weekend" , As I said I felt drawn to this organization so I agreed to come.
That weekend was a turning point for me, I was able to put the pain and hate behind me that weekend, I spent a lot of time soul searching and made the decision that I was going to go on with my life and learn to love again.
I was asked to become a facilitator for BE so I went to a couple training sessions and helped a couple of weekends, this was one of the most rewarding and healing experiences I have ever had, I was able to help someone just like I had been helped and it was a great feeling.
Shortly after this I met the woman that is now my wife, Had I not gone to BE I doubt that I could have been ready to let her into my life. She had lost her husband about the same time my marriage fell apart and I saw in her that she had not let her previous life go so I recommended BE to her, she reluctantly attended a weekend and when she came home I immediately saw an inner peace about her that had not been there 3 days before.
We have been married almost 3 years now and life couldn't be any better.
I am sorry to hear the pain that you are going thru, the only recommendation I can give is to seek out a support group, these people are going thru similiar situations and it really does help to know that you are not alone,
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Separation Divorce
