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| You've gotten some good advice on the emotional side, and I haven't been down this road, so I can't add much.
However, I work as a CPA in addition to my grain farming operation. Jake usually gives excellent advice on here so I don't often post on tax or financial issues because he covers them so well. However, I didn't see the financial side covered as much as the emotional side in the responses to your post so I felt compelled to post.
I have worked with several clients in a similar situation as yours and it seems in most cases I see where farming operations involved, divorce turns many years of marriage into a nasty, low-down, dirty, cut-throat business deal. My experience tells me that emotions (anger, hurt, a strong desire to reconcile) turn some of the most talented farmer-negotiators into mush in divorce situations. You've really got two issues that I see if the divorce goes through--custody on the 14 year old son and financial issues. The time to start preparing to deal with these issues is now.
You seem like you've sort of resigned yourself to the custody situation and a 14 year old will be able to have a say in his custody situation in my experience. I am not an attorney so can't give you the specifics here, but my experience tells me that whatever the custody situation during this "trial separation" will gain traction as the permanent situation. If you don't like things they way they are now...its time to see a good divorce attorney with experience on child custody issues and work to establish a more agreeable custody situation. DON'T WAIT if you don't like things now. Whatever you decide on the custody situation, just be yourself and the best Dad you can be...that's all you can do and your kids will notice.
On the financial side, I know you said she has a good job and an equal split means you gain...don't count on it. Also, don't count on judges looking favorably on anything for you. I've seen judges go counter to a guardian at litem recommendation on equal custody and I've seen judges split financials situations completely unfairly in my eyes. If it goes to the judge to make the choices...you just never know what will happen. I'd advise you to try to negotiate a reasonable deal between yourselves and your attorneys...leaving it to a judge is very risky...you just never know what they will do. You lead me to believe you want to reconcile and I think that is very admirable. I would advise you to visit a divorce attorney very soon anyway to discuss the financial side. If you have employees and are considering a significant grain handling investment you have a substantial operation with enough investment to make it worth a $500 or $1000 visit at this time--you really need to be proactive here in case things turn south. If you reconcile then you aren't out too much at this time. Visiting now is a lot like insurance in my view. Try to find an attorney who deals with divorce regularly and if possible find a divorce attorney who works with business/farm owners. There's all kinds of pitfalls--valuation of machinery, valuation of land, valuation of growing crops, valuation of rental agreements, valuation of grain in storage, debt security issues (she'll want her name off everything...bank may not allow that so she'll ask for MORE), jointly held asset issues, retirement account issues, huge tax issues if it is necessary to liquidate assets and various other tax issues, property settlement/allimony issues, etc. I would suggest to you that you should give some serious thought to what a fair split would be...try to eliminate the emotion from the issue as hard as that will be. Then take what you think is really fair in the situation and visit with the divorce attorney tell him or her where you are now finanicially and why and how your think your plan for a split is fair. Like any negotiation you will start out asking for more than you think is fair and be willing to settle for what is fair. She will ask for the moon, you will get angry and want the moon the other way. If you don't have a reasonable plan written down in advance, emotion takes over in the heat of the negotiation and you find yourself locking horns over $2000 of value on a 4020.
I think I would visit with my banker/accountant/financial advisor (that might be your Dad--for many farmers he's the most qualified and talented financial advisor possible) on the grain handling system as well. We really don't know enough about your financial situation to advise you on what to do on the grain handling system. However, my experience with clients is similar to what another poster said...this will set you back 10 years financially. Be very careful adding to your debt load at this time, but boy I don't like walking away from $40K either. Don't assume here that everything financially will work itself out...look at the worst case and best case situation and like you have in building your operation evaluate the risk. The difference here is your risk evaluator is clouded with emotion...that's why you need to talk with someone you trust on financial issues in my opinion.
Good luck buddy...this really is a hard time...hang in there! I don't mean to be cold here, but if it goes to divorce, my experience tells me it will be the most difficult business negotiation you are ever involved with. | |
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Separation Divorce
